(Grand)Papa Was a Rolling Stone

Let’s talk obsession for a minute.  In my last post, I touched on how I had become “a bit obsessed” with figuring out my DNA matches.  It’s true.  I’ve logged many hours (days? weeks? months?) scanning through my results on Ancestry, searching for patterns and surnames with the tenacity of a miner-49er owning nothing but a gold pan, hoping to make connections to explain how I share 253.9 cM of DNA with this or that total stranger.  I didn’t stop at Ancestry either.  I uploaded my DNA results to a site called Gedmatch, which offers nifty tools for analyzing DNA data not provided by Ancestry.  I even transferred my raw DNA file to FTDNA and MyHeritage (other testing sites that allow Ancestry test-takers to widen their cousin-finding pool for free).  So yeah.  I guess “a bit obsessed” is a fair assessment.  But don’t expect me to apologize.

Here’s why.

If, upon receiving my AncestryDNA results, my top matches were all people who I either recognized as cousins or could see by their family trees how we were related, I probably would have taken a more laid back approach.  I might have logged in once a week to see if I could get any further with my tree based on 4th or 5th or 6th cousin relationships.  It’s kind of a crapshoot at that distance, but potentially useful if your match has a nicely drawn out family tree (in other words, enough to possibly work with, but nothing to be so jazzed about that you log in every single night after the kids are in bed).

That’s not what happened, though.

Like I explained in my last post, I had a mystery 445 cM match.  And there were others …. It was like I didn’t know who I was anymore!  

Okay, maybe not quite that dramatic ….  But, I was supremely curious.  I mean, clearly, I’m already in a perpetual state of curiosity about my family’s roots, so what did I expect?

Let me just say that not everyone was a stranger.  I felt vindicated when I recognized matches whose trees included ancestors on my mom’s maternal grandmother’s side (namely, Sloniger, Scarborough, and Pursel cousins).  A few were cousins I had exchanged messages with before testing.  Yay!  My paper tree wasn’t entirely wrong!

In addition, Ancestry threw my mom and me into two “DNA Circles,” one for an ancestor named Jacob Pursel, my 4th great-grandfather, and another for Mary Mattocks, my 4th great-grandmother who married a Sloniger.  “DNA Circles” is a feature that Ancestry offers to help with genetic family research.  You basically get grouped with people who Ancestry believes there is enough evidence based on shared DNA and having a common ancestor in your trees to all be possibly related.  

“DNA Circles” was actually my Bill Engvall “here’s your sign” moment.  

Remember Frog, my mom’s dad who had died before she was born so she didn’t know or remember his first name? Well, I was pumped when I was put into a circle with others who had an ancestor named William Laster in common.  This was my 3rd great-grandfather on Frog’s side of the family.  Sadly, William Laster had died in 1865 at the age of 32 at Camp Chase, Ohio, a Union-side prison camp, where he is still buried in the Confederate cemetery.  I had lots of fun tracking down William Laster and his military service, adding it to my tree, and continuing back to his grandfather, Archibald, born in North Carolina in 1775.  

When I first checked out the DNA Circle for William Laster (where my status was marked “pending”), I was a little surprised to see that one member who shared this Laster ancestor also had ancestors from my dad’s side of the family.  It turns out that several generations before my parents were married, someone from my dad’s family had married someone from Frog’s family.  

But then, a couple of days later, Ancestry kicked me out of the Laster Circle.  This was my sign.

You see, during all those nightly perusals of my matches, I had yet to find anyone who looked like they fit into my mom’s paternal side of the tree (this would be Frog’s family, surnames Michael, Hayes or Hays, Duncan, and of course, Laster).  I had been thinking, perhaps no one from that side has tested.  But the DNA Circle showed me that, yes, Laster people had tested.  I just wasn’t related to them!  I had been put into the circle based on the paternal DNA connection, not because of Frog and the Laster family line.  It was time to follow the DNA evidence and see where it led.

I mentioned in my previous post all of the things I did to bone up on utilizing DNA results for genealogy. One of the first things I tried was a trick called “tree mirroring.”  One of my maternal matches who did not share DNA with any of my mom’s mother’s family had a very detailed family tree of 8,000+ people, and we shared 138 cM. This particular DNA match was also on Gedmatch, where I could compare where and how our chromosomes matched.  My mom, this match, and I shared the same segments of multiple chromosomes (something known as “triangulation”).  This meant that we all three descended from the same ancestor(s), making this 138 cM match a very good candidate for tree mirroring.  

In the tree mirroring method, you duplicate the tree of a close DNA match, marking it as private and non-searchable so as not to confuse other Ancestry members, and go back at least as many generations as you likely relate (in this case, I went back six generations because I hadn’t done it before and wasn’t yet aware how labor intensive it can be).  You then link your DNA test to the place in the duplicated tree where your DNA match is located.  Ancestry then runs its algorithms and in a day or so you check your results to see who your “Shared Ancestor Hints” are.

You may already be familiar with the green shaky leaf icon Ancestry uses to signify a “hint” (i.e., a record that could be related to a person in your family tree).  Ancestry utilizes the same leaf icon in its DNA application, but the hints are for shared ancestors (people who appear in both your family tree and the trees of DNA matches).  You can click on a hint and Ancestry pulls up a line of descendancy chart for you and your DNA match, showing you exactly which ancestors you share.

Shared Ancestor Hint Example (if only every match was this easy)

 

I impatiently waited for the Shared Ancestor Hints my mirror tree would produce, and then, voila!  I had names: William Carl Hardin and Sarah Ann Conklin.  The DNA that I shared with my mirror tree match was connected to these two people, our most recent common ancestors ("MRCAs").  Not only that, but there were several more DNA matches (albeit more distant) who also shared Hardin ancestors.

Of course, this didn’t tell me how I was related to these Hardin DNA matches or to the MRCAs I shared with my mirror tree match.  The next step was to check our “Shared Matches.”  This feature of Ancestry is exactly what its title implies.  My mirror tree match also shared DNA with my mom, Mystery Match 445 cM, and a handful of others.  Unfortunately, not one of these matches had a tree that could help me explain our relationships.

At this point, my mirror tree became my Research Tree.  I zeroed in on the MRCAs.  William Carl Hardin had been born in Tennessee in 1830, but had moved with his family to Fredonia, Indiana, as a small child. Sarah Ann Conklin was born in New Jersey in 1835, but by age 21, had married William Hardin in Indiana. The couple went on to have eight children, the two youngest of which were born in Kansas in the years 1874 and 1877.  Now, I was getting somewhere.

I next attempted to track the movements of each of William and Sarah Hardin’s children.  This was especially challenging with three of the couple’s four daughters. You have to remember that there isn’t always a nicely gift-wrapped record sitting online for you that shows exactly who married whom and when.  (Lots of times obituaries provide married names of adult children, or maiden names, which is why I love them!  It helps when tracking down female ancestors.)  Given this, I decided to focus on the sons first.  

My mirror tree match was a descendant of one of the four sons, William Sherman Hardin.  I thought I could safely rule him out since if I was also a descendant of this son, I would share a lot more DNA than 138 cM with my mirror tree match.  

Another son, George Hardin, although married, died without issue, so I scratched him off the list. 

Next, there was the oldest son, Silas Gifford Hardin.  Silas had ended up in Washington state, with two sons of his own (since I was looking for my mom’s dad, I was most interested in the grandsons of William and Sarah Hardin).  One son died as a child; the other son was old enough to be my mom’s grandfather’s age.  Although a big age difference wouldn’t be unheard of, given that this son apparently spent his life in Washington, I moved on to the movements of the grandsons of Silas Hardin. (I was looking for age, availability, and location in late 1940, when my mom would have been conceived.) There were three grandsons that I could find:  two brothers aged 35 and 25, who were both married and working as teachers in Washington in 1940, and their cousin, who at age 25 in 1940 had recently moved from Los Angeles up to Washington, where he was married and had a young son.    

It was time to look at the fourth (and youngest) son of William and Sarah Hardin.

John Wesley Hardin had married Florence Johnnie McAlister in Marion, Kansas, in 1898.  The couple’s first four children were born in Kansas, but they then moved to Medford, Oklahoma, where three more children were born between 1907 and 1913.  Four children were boys; three survived to adulthood.  Again, I set to tracking the movements of the surviving sons.

First on the list was Paul, born in 1900.  Although married at least twice, I could see no evidence of any children.  Paul was a butcher living in Oklahoma in 1940. I moved on.

Next, there was Theodore (“Ted”), born in 1901.  By 1940, Ted had been a married father of five living in Colorado for at least fifteen years.  Again, I moved on.

Then, there was William Delbert (“Del”), born in 1907.  I had a difficult time tracking the movements of this son.  (In fact, I still can’t figure out where he was in 1940!)  I “bookmarked” this one, and moved on to the youngest son.

John Harvey was born in 1911.  In 1940, he was single and living with his parents in (drumroll, please) Great Bend, Kansas!  

Some backstory:  my grandmother, Alice May Thomason, was living with her mother, Bessie, in Great Bend in 1940.  Bessie (Sloniger) Thomason’s family had settled in Great Bend in 1891, when she was just five years of age.  Bessie’s father owned a plastering business and was an active member of the Methodist church and various community organizations in Great Bend.  Bessie had lost her first husband to a work-related accident at age 19, and had lost her father and three brothers to illness and accidents by the time she was 30.  Bessie raised five children with her second husband, Mat Thomason, but by 1930, when her second oldest son was killed in a car accident, she and Mat were divorced.  Bessie then lost her mother in 1937, and in 1940, when Alice May was living with her, Bessie was battling cervical cancer (she died early the next year).  Alice May had herself recently divorced Frog.  Also living with Bessie and Alice May at that time was Bessie’s 11-year-old granddaughter, the child of her son, Harry, who had died in 1930.

So, there was a lot going on in the lives of these two women.

When I saw the census record that put a single, male Hardin descendant in close proximity to my grandmother the year that my mom was conceived, I felt sure I had my guy. From what I could gather, John Hardin had joined the military in 1942.  He didn’t even marry until the mid-1940s.  Why not him?

Still, I needed to check out the other possibility, Del Hardin.  Where was he in 1940?  

While I was researching this son, I came across an obituary posted online for a woman who had passed away in 2010.  William Delbert Hardin was named as her father.  Among the surviving family members, I recognized the name of an Ancestry member whose family tree I had reviewed during my searches.  I debated for several days whether I should reach out to this person.  In the end, I figured that since she had a public tree on Ancestry, she probably wouldn’t mind being contacted by another Ancestry member. My goal was to find out what, if anything, she knew about Del Hardin, her great-grandfather.  Maybe she knew, without a doubt, that Del had been on a fishing boat off the coast of Alaska the winter of 1940-41.  

I was pleasantly surprised when I received a response almost immediately.  She very graciously directed me to her mother, who was the family genealogist.

Let me tell you, in my line of hobby, when someone offers to give you the contact information for the “family genealogist,” an electric charge of excitement hits you.  You think, “Someone else like me exists! And not only that, she/he likely has meaningful treasure to share!”  I fired off an email right away.

And that, folks, is when everything started to break open for me.  I was completely blessed to be put in touch with someone who had not only researched the Hardin family genealogy, but had known Del and the family.  

Things started to fall quickly into place.  The adoptive mother of a DNA match (117 cM) who was in touch with me on Ancestry confirmed that he was the biological grandson of one of Del’s sisters.  I recognized one DNA match (264 cM) as a Facebook friend of my newly acquainted “family genealogist” friend, and it turned out that the two were first cousins once removed.  I was making progress with more of my DNA matches, finding that I shared DNA with McAlister descendants, which proved I was a descendant of John Wesley Hardin and Florence Johnnie McAlister.  I knew I was in the right family.

Eventually, I reached out to another Hardin family member, who told me more about the personalities and lives of the two Hardin sons who were my best candidates for being my mom’s biological father.  If I had been on the fence before, I could hardly stay there after hearing more about both men.

Without going into a lot of gossipy, sordid details, it’s clear that my maternal grandfather was Del Hardin, and Del was a “rolling stone.”

Del ran away from home at 16.  He fathered twin girls at the age of 19, leaving their mother (or being chased off by her brothers!) and moving on to marry another woman, with whom he had a boy in 1929. Less than a year later, the two were divorced, and Del was on to new things.  Exactly what, I can’t say. He appears to have served in the military (see pictures posted below). Family members say he spent time in the state penitentiary in Oklahoma, but I checked and there is no record of this.  I also could not locate any military service records.  He did a little bit of everything for work, from being a roustabout in the oil fields to auto mechanic to painter and plasterer.  It appears that Del spent time living in Arizona, where his Social Security number was issued, and by 1958, he was in Bakersfield, California.  At the time of his death in what is now West Sacramento in 1977, he was married again, but not living with any of his own kids.  

It is rumored that Del fathered at least two other boys. My mom would make a sixth child.  There could be more!  As my newly discovered half first cousin put it, Del was what you would call a “rounder.”  Not that he was drunk all the time (I was told that he did not drink), but he made the rounds with women, let’s just say.  Another way to put it:  Del was a “ladies man.”  He certainly was charming and likable as those I heard from who knew him remember him with fondness, saying he had a terrific sense of humor and a “delightful” personality.  

A few months ago, another DNA match showed up on Ancestry, this one a descendant of Del’s brother, Ted Hardin. If I had any lingering doubts about whether or not Del was my grandfather, the amount of DNA I shared with this known full second cousin (227 cM) was very informative.  I share more DNA with a known descendant of Del’s, his great-granddaughter.  Since she is a generation further removed, the amount of shared DNA (264 cM) doesn’t support her being a 2nd cousin once removed, whereas it does support her being a half first cousin once removed.  (It’s kind of technical and nit-picky, I know, but the alternative is to pull hair out in frustration!)

Rolling stone or not, I consider myself very lucky to have discovered the identity of my biological grandfather.  It has been a fascinating quest, and I’ve met “new” family who have welcomed me with open hearts and minds, becoming my friends.  Remember, too, that my mom did not know her father growing up, so we really had nothing to lose by the discovery that he wasn’t Frog (although truth be told, I’ve become quite fond of Frog during this process, especially after becoming acquainted with his family after Alice May (no, Frog did not die before my mom was born - more on that later)).

Making an already awesome situation better, I have pictures of my grandfather!  (All photos are courtesy of Faith Keahey, my amazing, genealogist half first cousin and new, treasured friend.)

Date unknown, but he is probably in his 20s here

Del with his son, Daniel, who was born in 1929

Older, but dapper

William Delbert “Del” Hardin (1907-1977)