Peeling Back the Wallpaper

Folks, this is my advice on how NOT to be like me if you ever give up your spit to Ancestry for DNA testing.

 

 

You all know by now that I’m a genealogy nut.  It started slowly and innocently enough:  just me, building my family tree on paper.  When I started hitting too many brick walls about a year into it, I decided to test. Maybe I’d find a DNA cousin from a branch of the family who had a Family Bible with all the answers.  

 

Lesson #1:  If you are going to take a DNA test, know in advance that you are going to end up with more questions than answers.

 

I was quickly overwhelmed by my DNA match results.  Something like 800 4th cousins or closer (that figure is roughly 1,300 only a year later!), and Ancestry doesn’t explain how I am related to all of these people.  There is no neon sign flashing:  “Michelle, meet your 2nd cousin on the Barnett side:  Sherri!” Ancestry only provides its predicted relationship with a DNA match based on the amount of shared DNA. There is no paternal side or maternal side noted.  

 

Lesson #2:  If you are going to take a DNA test, have known maternal and paternal relatives (preferably from the oldest generation available), also test.

 

Except for a few obvious matches, I was positively flummoxed until I had my mom take the test. Once I could see who also matched with her, virtually half of the work was done.  Anyone who did not match with her had to be a paternal side match.  Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.

 

Sort of.

 

Anyone out there have one of those “New Word a Day” calendars?  If not, here’s your word for today: centimorgan (“cM”).  

 

Maybe you already knew that one.  Before I tested, I did not.  But I had to find out what it meant, because apart from the names or usernames of my DNA matches (and, if I was lucky, a linked family tree), the amount of shared cM was pretty much all the information I had from Ancestry about each match.  

 

As it’s used in genetic genealogy, cM is a measurement of the size of matching DNA segments.  The larger the number of shared cM, the more likely you and a match have a recent common ancestor. Remember what Mr. Marlin taught you about DNA recombination?  (Oh, Mr. Marlin wasn’t your high school biology teacher?)  Well, as a point of reference, I share 3,436 cM of DNA with my mom (according to Ancestry).

 

To overgeneralize the basics of DNA inheritance, we each get 50% of our DNA from dear ol’ mom, and 50% from dear ol’ dad.  However, our chromosomes aren’t exact copies of our parents’.  Each chromosome received from them is a combination of their own pairs of chromosomes.  (It’s all coming back to you now, isn’t it?)  Ultimately, the recombination process is so random that you can’t say that you inherited exactly 25% of your DNA from your maternal grandmother, 25% of your DNA from your maternal grandfather, and so on.  A smaller (or larger) percentage of one particular grandparent’s genes can be passed down (and keep in mind that I’m speaking of only autosomal DNA, not the X and Y chromosomes).  So, you can see how the number of cMs (shared DNA) with any particular person is going to vary.

 

To help dumb-bums like me, genetic genealogists have created handy reference charts that give possible family relationships based on shared cM.  For instance, you might expect to share between 548-1100 cM with a full first cousin, according to one such chart.  When I first received my DNA test results from Ancestry, my closest match was 445 cM.  Ancestry was telling me we it was extremely confident that we were 1st-2nd cousins.  Okay.  This was great!  Except … who was he?  I was pretty sure I knew all of my first cousins on my dad’s side, and there were none on my mom’s side. Intriguing….

 

Lesson #3:  Don’t assume you know your family tree.

 

That sounds ominous, right?  Because most people feel pretty sure of their families, especially close relatives.  Well, sorry to suggest otherwise, but it could be that you don’t know your family as well as you think.

Also, don’t assume that everyone who matches with you will know how you are related.  People have different motivations for taking Ancestry’s DNA test.  Some people are purely curious about what the test will tell them about their ancestral heritage.  They really do just want to know how Irish they are.  Some people do it because they hope to find out more about their family lines and possibly connect with new cousins.  The latter reason has varying degrees of skill level and motivation behind it, such that you will sometimes see DNA matches with extensive (15,000+ people) family trees, or (more often than not) very small trees or no tree at all.

When there is no tree at all, it could be because a match is adopted or grew up never knowing his or her family.

 

Lesson #4:  Don’t fire half-cocked messages off to unknown DNA matches.

 

Take a moment to reflect on how perplexing and disconcerting it might be to receive a message from a complete stranger asking how you are related, especially when you are adopted or have discovered that your family tree is different than what you knew. If you felt sure about your family tree before (yeah, see Lesson #3), you might not be ready to hear from someone who doesn't fit into the family you thought you knew. Whatever the situation might be, contain your enthusiasm for a minute, take a deep breath, and make a game plan before contacting any matches.

 

Lesson #5:  Have a game plan.

 

Like I mentioned before, everyone has different reasons for testing, and the reasons usually inform the extent to which people are willing to go to figure out who their DNA matches are. I was motivated enough to join a DNA group with monthly meetings through my local genealogical society to help me understand what I was looking at.  I also read blogs on genetic genealogy, listened to podcasts and interviews, and viewed numerous YouTube tutorials on how to sort through and determine relationships with matches by finding the “most recent common ancestor” (MRCA). I followed advice, used third party site tools, and tried different suggested techniques, until eventually some things started to fall into place.

 

But I wish I had started with a game plan, not simply scrolling through pages of faceless, treeless DNA matches, feeling completely overwhelmed. (Hey, sometimes I still find myself doing that!)

 

The time I spent going in circles and overlooking the obvious while searching madly for connections that simply weren't there could have been shaved considerably had I done the following: 1) tested my mom at the same time as me; 2) prepared myself by reading up on different approaches to sorting and identifying DNA matches; and 3) implemented a plan of action on my closest matches.  

 

I tell you all of this because if you are on the fence about testing, or you have tested and thrown your hands up in despair of ever figuring out your DNA family, I offer you encouragement.  It is manageable with the right approach, and the rewards are amazing.

 

Remember my close (445 cM) mystery match?  If you hadn’t already guessed this, I fired off a message to him lickety-split before I had my mom tested (and so before I knew on which side of my family he was related). He was as baffled as me by the question of how we were related.  It turns out he matches with my mom at 886 cM.  With such a close relationship, I was compelled to find out more.

 

You might say I have become a bit obsessed with figuring out who my DNA matches are (well, my husband would for sure attest to that).  For me, getting tested was like noticing a loose piece of wallpaper, and instead of gluing it back to the wall and moving on, I picked at it, peeling it back by degrees so that the wall became a huge eyesore and now all the old wallpaper needs to come off so that fresh paint or new paper can be laid.  I can’t move forward with growing my family tree on old, incorrect information.  DNA is showing me the truth of my roots, piece by fragmented piece.  I guess time will tell if I can smooth it all out and have a decent-looking wall to show for it.